Sometimes I...

...get nauseous halfway through eating a banana.

I don't know if it's the texture. Maybe the smell. Or the fact that I usually eat one when I'm very hungry. I am trying to finish one now, so I probably better stop analyzing.

Regardless, it's a fact. A couple of months ago, I actually had to throw up the banana when I was through. I wasn't sick. My body just hates bananas.

Isn't that bananas?

My Prayer for the Grieving

I originally posted this in June 2011. But I wanted to post it again today because it's what I'm praying for today. A few blessed moments of peace for those who feel like they won't last the day without them. For the families of the victims in Newtown, CT, and for the survivors and first responders.

I'm no more an expert on grief than is every person suffering the beautiful and awful human experience. But I know enough about it to know what I want for people when I hear they are grieving.

There are moments so pure and tender that I believe they are reserved for those in pain. These are the things that I pray will be in plenty when a grieving soul is ready to receive them. It could be a long time before any of these moments are meaningful because the first gift God gives those who are grieving is absence of feeling. A numbness and distorted vision that lasts long enough that a moment of clarity will not destroy you. Once the numbness wears off, even for a brief moment, these are the things I pray a grieving soul will know.

~The moment, after hours or days or only minutes of downcast eyes and knit brows, that you can open your eyes, look straight ahead and you feel the lines fall away as if someone has just smoothed your brow.

~A fragrant breeze that cools your skin and dries the hot tears.

~Looking into another's eyes and not finding pity.

~A gentle embrace from one who knows well enough to leave trite comfort, and even words full of wisdom, for a day other than today.

~The freedom to weep in public without shame.

~That one day, in a future that will feel like an eternity away, you will hear in the foreign sound of your own laughter, the redemption of what you lost.

Beautiful Day

Yesterday was a beautiful day for a walk to the zoo. I never get tired of going on adventures with these two. And yes, it's December. Weird.

The Flip Side of Independence

We had a fantabulous weekend. Full of relaxation. Laughing. Playing. Resting. Snuggling. General perfection. So it always makes me sad to see Erick head off to work and Sophia walk into her classroom on the following Monday morning.

This morning when I told Sophia how much I'd miss her while she was at school, I thought maybe I shouldn't. I thought perhaps she'd see my admission as permission to stay. I envisioned her clinging to me an extra long time this morning and saying, "Mommy, I don't want to leave this morning. Can I please stay here with you?"

My fears were misplaced. When I uttered my confession, she turned to me and gave me her "Kinda-sorta" face and hand wiggle. I just squeezed her again and said (mostly truthfully) that I was glad that she loves school so much. She said, "Well, I just have so much fun with my friends that sometimes I forget about the weekend."

I'll have to be sure to remind her of how awesome I can be... Legendary fun is in the making.

Great Start to the Holidays

We have already had a fantastic start to our holidays. If the rest of this season is anything like the start, we are in for a really good time. 

Last weekend, we went to Springfield to see my family. While there, we visited Silver Dollar City during my favorite time of the year there. The Christmas lights are the perfect way to really get into the spirit.

Sophia had a wonderful time with my parents.

And during the Thanksgiving holiday, she had a wonderful time with Grandmary.

Thanksgiving morning, we went to watch the Thanksgiving parade downtown St. Louis. It's chock full of great high school marching bands. Here is Sophia snapping along to one of the passing songs.

Today has been a full and fantastic day, too. Shopping this morning, but not till we had hung out for a while at home. Once we got home, we decorated our apartment for Christmas. Here is the teamwork to get the star on the tree. We have so much fun.

Here's our apartment all decked out in its Christmas apparel.

The rest of the day was spent as the beginning - relaxing. Our plan for tomorrow is more of the same. Erick and I bought Jenga last night, and it's been the hit of the day. I expect we'll be stacking and dodging a lot this weekend. Hope everyone's holiday has been filled with food and laughter.

The First Thanksgiving

almost...

Last night, the Kindergarten cohort of Captain hosted a Thanksgiving Feast, which included performances by our children dressed as Wampanoag Native Americans and Pilgrims. They got to choose for themselves how they dressed.

This whole unit, which has been the entire month, maybe even before Halloween, has just been so much fun to hear about. Sophia is way into this thing. I hope she hangs onto this interest in history. The story itself is so compelling that I don't blame her for bursting through the door in the afternoons just aching to tell me some additional nugget that she learned today. I'm going to miss hearing about Squanto, Massasoit and Samoset now that it's all over...

Anyway, last night was a great time. The food, which was the whole Thanksgiving deal, was surprisingly delicious! I loved hanging out with Sophia's classmates and their families.

Erick got a couple of videos of the songs, so if we get those into accessible form, I'll be sure to share!

Coolest Place I Knew Nothing About

If one grew up in St. Louis, one has undoubtedly learned of Cahokia Mounds. I did not and had not. It's quite an amazing place. It was a civilization of Mississipian Native Americans that thrived for about 700 years, with it's peak in the year 1200. During that time, between 15 and 20,000 people lived there. That was actually a larger population than London had at the same time.

Anyway, we went there with the Kindergartners today. It was a great field trip, but we were all very tired by the time it was over. And I'm a little pooped still.

The most unique and recognizable feature of the Cahokia Mounds site is called Monk's Mound. It is 100 feet high and has 156 steps leading to the top.

At the top, the settlement's chief ruler lived and governed his people. The area around this main structure has 120 other mounds upon which other people of the upper classes would have built their homes. While most of the economy was based on agriculture, some families would have focused on tool building and even decorative or spiritual items and traded for food.

Obviously, I learned almost as much as the kids did. And Sophia wants to take Erick back on Saturday. Since we'll have about 59 fewer kids, I might be willing...

Here, Sophia and Emery are looking at a marker. Can you see the faint outline of St. Louis over Emery's right shoulder?

 Here's a closer look at what we could see from the top. It was a little surreal to have the modern in view while surveying the ancient. A humbling slice of reality about our place in time.

Just because they're cute. And once we got into the museum itself, they got a little more difficult to follow and impossible to capture on film...