Avast, ye Maties! Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! From Cap'n Billy, here are the
Top 10 reasons to raise your children as pirates
(10) Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to be a pirate, and he’ll steal other people’s fish for a lifetime.
(9) Divvying up booty is good quality time with the kids.
(8) When other parents hear you’re raising your children as pirates, they’ll stop asking you to volunteer at school.
(7) It’s fun to watch the emergency room doctor’s reaction when you say your son was injured during “a little mishap boarding a merchant vessel that refused to surrender.”
(6) You’ve always preferred the title “Captain” to “Mommy” or “Daddy.”
(5) You can spend your kids’ college savings on more important things, like a trip to Las Vegas.
(4) Your children already smell like pirates, so the transition will be easy.
(3) The family that plunders together, stays together!
(2) Replacing “family movie night” with “family terrorizing the neighbors with cannons night” is a wonderful change of pace.
(1) Cap’n Billy wants you to do it—and the last person who didn’t do what Cap’n Billy asked was set adrift in a rowboat with only a day’s supply of water.
