Wednesday, September 27, 2023


 Happy birthday, Sophia! 

I am so happy to get to spend a day - even if it's a crazy one for you - celebrating you with every second we have together. And I'll be thinking about you and your special day even when we're not in the same place. Because your birthday is one of my favorite days, too!

This year has been one of the hardest years we've faced as a family. I have been amazed by the way that you have managed things in your own time and in your own way. I know you've come to depend on your friends in a whole new way this year, and I am so pleased that you have a support system that you can count on no matter what. I'm glad that your people know you well enough to keep you from escaping inside yourself when things get out of control. And I'm so happy that you know yourself well enough to reach out, too.

You continue to be the kind of person that instills confidence and trust, and it's no wonder that your friends love to be around you - almost as much as Dad and I do. We are adjusting to your independence, and I'm trying to learn to be cool with the space you need. I am so proud of you, Sophia. I am proud when you get amazing grades or try out for plays or memorize your lines or help a friend when they're hurting or take a nap when you need one or push yourself to learn huge dance routines or express honestly when you need help. I'm just proud every moment of every day because of who you are. 

This coming year has such great possibilities for you. I'm excited to watch you continue to navigate the big questions and begin to take steps forward in your chosen path. My hope for you this year is that the confidence that others have in you can take hold in ways that make it possible for you to move and act with as much boldness as you'd like. There is no right or wrong way to do this, and regardless, I feel sure when I say, "You've got this!" 

Love you so much, Sophia! Happy, happy birthday!

Laurie

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Happy SWEET 16, Sophia!!


 Dear Sophia,

Sixteen years ago, you delighted us all by showing up on your own schedule. You have continued to

choose your own path in every way, and it’s a pleasure to watch.

Being along for the ride is the biggest joy of my life. I am so grateful to know you as well as I do, not only because you’re my kid but because you are a truly wonderful human. Thank you for letting us in!

I am proud of all that you have accomplished this year. You have faced many fears and continue to bravely step beyond your comfort zone. It has been inspiring and a little scary for me to watch you navigate your ever burgeoning life.

You continue to be the kind of loyal friend that any person would be lucky for life to have. Your capacity for love is truly boundless. As your mom, I hate how that opens you up to more pain, but you blow me away by bravely loving in spite of the risk. It’s frickin amazing. We’ll be here for you along the way as it becomes more full of joy and of everything else.

As always, my dearest wish for you is for you to see yourself the way others see you, even just a little bit. We think you are just the coolest thing to happen, and I wish it was easier for you to see the amazing parts of being you, along with the parts that make moments difficult.

I love you, Sophia. More than I imagined possible, and you know I’ve got a great imagination.

Happy, happy birthday, Soph. I hope you feel celebrated and loved in the midst of your scheduling storm.

Love,

Mom


Sunday, October 24, 2021

Weird but fun

 This weekend the weather was supposed to be crummy, so we've stayed around the house. It turns out that the weather has been great, so some of our home time has also been outside.

Last weekend, we filled the days with some out of the ordinary activities. 

Saturday, we went to the St. Louis Renaissance Festival. It was weird but fun. It felt disorganized and chaotic, but I really think it was probably planned very well. It's just in the middle of a park and the mud was a bit distracting. Apropos, but still. 

Here are the king and queen cheering on their champion for the joust.

Sunday, we went to the immersive Van Gogh exhibit in the Galleria parking lot. That was a bit surreal and weird but overall cool.

Anyway, it was nice to get out and about. However, it really made the weekend go by rather quickly to have actual plans and things to do. I'm definitely not quite up to doing that all the time just yet. 

It's been nice, this weekend, to just relax and stay in our cozy house together. 





Monday, September 27, 2021

Happy Birthday, Sophia!


 Dear Sophia,

Happy, happy birthday! As you say, Mondays are the worst days, for birthdays and otherwise. I hope you feel celebrated even though it's the start to another week!

The last six weeks of being 14 have brought more change and potential than the whole other 46 weeks put together! It's been exciting and scary, even for me to watch, so I can only imagine how this birthday will feel putting all of this into reality. Fifteen is a big deal, as they all are. I have a lot of hope, as you know, for what this year will bring for you. My hope is that this is one of the years where you can start putting the pieces together of all the things you've learned about yourself and the world. The possibilities come with risk, it's true.

You are facing the changes and challenges head on, and I'm so proud of you. As always, your strength and bravery are in the spotlight. It isn't easy to deal with so much pressure while trying to continue your journey of self discovery, and you are building back what you lost in the past couple of years with honesty and compassion as your foundation. 

While there is plenty of serious stuff happening, there is also laughter and fun at the heart of many of your days. All one has to do is listen and get to know you to understand how truly funny and clever you are. It's fun just to be around when you decide the world should be laughing. You always manage to find a way to make it so.

I feel grateful each day to be in your universe. This day and every day. This year and every year. I become a better person just by being in your orbit and learning what you already know to be true about this place. Your observations are the best observations - whether they are fun or poignant. 

Love you so very much, Sophia. Happy, happy, happy birthday!

Mom

Monday, August 9, 2021

Summer Redux

It's hard to believe the summer is already drawing to a close. I'm sitting on my front porch in a nice breeze, just enjoying the rare St. Louis summer day that can be fully enjoyed out of doors. It's been a great summer. We did a lot of stuff, and we had a lot of lazy days. A really good balance, I must say.

I was so thrilled that Shakespeare in the Park was back. The production of King Lear was beautifully done and the actors were amazing. It was one I won't soon forget!


Sophia and I spent some nice afternoons at the pool. Playing and playing. It's always a good time!


We also had lots of fun at Six Flags a few times. I did my best to ride as many rides as my middle aged body would allow. For the most part, I think it was satisfactory.



Kayaking is truly one of my favorite activities. We were lucky to have some weekends that allowed us to not be overheated in the sun. This was a new to us little lake in Illinois. Very lovely.



The summer also allowed us to get out a little more since Sophia was also vaccinated. 



 The summer isn't quite over, but just wanted to give an overview of what kinds of things kept us busy this year. I am so incredibly grateful for the fact that I can enjoy these summer days with Sophia.

Thursday, August 5, 2021

Steamboat Springs

I have not posted a thing this summer! I guess I was too busy enjoying it to the fullest. That's what we'll say. Tomorrow, I head back to work - new job. More about that, perhaps, another time. For now, allow me to post some memories from our family vacation to Steamboat Springs, Colorado.

Since we drove out there in order to avoid planes and airports, we got to make a stop in Omaha and see some very good friends and a former neighbor. Ernie is very special to us, and we were so pleased to be able to see him for a quick visit!

Steamboat Springs was really a great spot. It's a ski town, of course, but we enjoyed hiking a couple times. This one was Fish Creek Falls. It was delightful. If we ever went back there, I'd want to be in shape enough or acclimated enough to make the hike to the second set of falls, but this was a really beautiful spot regardless.

Another short hike we did was up around the place where the lift drops you off. Erick and I tried to hike up to this point later in the week, but it was the altitude again. Everything is just a bit harder.

My favorite thing we did was rent e-bikes. Basically pedal assisted bikes helped us enjoy the scenery without having to push so hard that we couldn't breathe. It was really a fun thing. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to bike but doesn't like to struggle on vacation. 

The food in Steamboat was pretty good. This meal was excellent. A nice little tapas place, which you don't expect to be delicious in Colorado, but it was! Plus, the lighting. Look at our gorgeous girl.


None of us had ever spent any significant amount of time in Colorado, so we were very excited to get a glimpse into what people love. Colorado is the home to the heart of so many people we love. I can definitely see the appeal. It truly is some of the most beautiful landscape you can see all at once! It was a very fun trip. 







Monday, May 17, 2021

Adventures

 This spring has been cloudy, cool, and kind of serious. I don't know why, but the weather has had a serious tone. Not dangerous, obviously, just somber. I have enjoyed it, though that may surprise you from the recent blog posts all about sunshine or the lack thereof. When the weather isn't oppressive, I find that I simply feel more.

I've also taken advantage of getting out and into nature a bit. A couple of weeks ago, Leo and I ventured into Don Robinson State Park. It was quite beautiful. It had rained recently, so I fell down. A lot. But, for the most part, all that was damaged was my pride. Actually, that's not true either. I have no shame or embarrassment about falling down. It's kind of just part of taking risks, I think. Now, there was one particular fall that happened while a photographer looked on, but even then I didn't feel embarrassed. Just concerned for Leo, since I had been holding him at the time.

My best adventure came on Mother's Day. This is a duplicate post to something I wrote on Facebook, but worth repeating here: A few months ago, I decided I needed something to look forward to, so I signed up for the Tough Mudder (5k). The last few weeks, I have been regretting that decision a little. My friend had to drop out, my family couldn’t come watch (S is quarantined). The weather was - not delightful. But I did it. I loved it. I have not been prouder of myself in a very long time. The obstacles were challenging, but the hardest thing I did was get out of bed. #HappyMuddersDay 



I want to add that a part of the reason that I'm particularly proud is because I had been feeling down on my body recently. I gained something close to a Covid 19 and had worried that it would hold me back from my goals. My goals were to: 1) attempt 75% of the obstacles, 2) finish, 3) not hurt myself. I completed each and every one of the obstacles!! I did finish. And the only damage done to my body was surface stuff - lots of bruising. I just didn't need to reach some ideal level of fitness to be able to kick ass on the obstacle course, and that made me very happy. Rather than decreasing my desires to achieve more fitness, it helped me have a better idea of what I'm capable of, and that will help me as I get back on track here. 

Anyway, just wanted to share some adventuring I've done. Looking forward to a summer full of activity and excitement. Getting back to some level of normalcy, even.