Happy 18th Birthday, Sophia!!!

 Happy birthday, Sophia!

It's hard for me to put into words what this birthday means. At the end of the day today, things will be really similar to the way things were at the end of your 17th birthday. The reason it feels so big is that this is the year that you get to act on the dreams and plans you've been making since you were little. 

Watching you begin to put the pieces together has been miraculous. Your bravery has put you on the lookout for adventures that will meet your needs and made you willing to step outside your comfort zone to take risks worth taking. Your passion and curiosity are leading you into areas you may not have been open to before you built trust in your judgment and abilities! Through everything, your sense of humor and care for others shines through and draws people along with you.

Spending some time with you reading through the funny and insightful things you have said in the past was a lot of fun. I'm glad that you felt, as I do, that you are still that same wise and hilarious person, now with real life experience! My wish, as it is most years, is that this year will bring more self love for you than the last. With more moments where you recognize your brilliance for yourself, you'll have more freedom to take each step onto your own path.

I'm anxious about the year ahead. But as you have said so brilliantly, I'm not scared. I'm "scited." Is that how you would spell it? Regardless, I'm excited to see what's next!

I love you so much, Sophia. Being your mom is the greatest joy of my life and always will be, even as you are growing into adulthood. It's the very best. 

I hope you have a wonderful day today and feel celebrated by everyone that loves you!! You deserve it. 

Love,

Mom

 Happy birthday, Sophia! 
I am so happy to get to spend a day - even if it's a crazy one for you - celebrating you with every second we have together. And I'll be thinking about you and your special day even when we're not in the same place. Because your birthday is one of my favorite days, too!
Laurie

This year has been one of the hardest years we've faced as a family. I have been amazed by the way that you have managed things in your own time and in your own way. I know you've come to depend on your friends in a whole new way this year, and I am so pleased that you have a support system that you can count on no matter what. I'm glad that your people know you well enough to keep you from escaping inside yourself when things get out of control. And I'm so happy that you know yourself well enough to reach out, too.

You continue to be the kind of person that instills confidence and trust, and it's no wonder that your friends love to be around you - almost as much as Dad and I do. We are adjusting to your independence, and I'm trying to learn to be cool with the space you need. I am so proud of you, Sophia. I am proud when you get amazing grades or try out for plays or memorize your lines or help a friend when they're hurting or take a nap when you need one or push yourself to learn huge dance routines or express honestly when you need help. I'm just proud every moment of every day because of who you are. 

This coming year has such great possibilities for you. I'm excited to watch you continue to navigate the big questions and begin to take steps forward in your chosen path. My hope for you this year is that the confidence that others have in you can take hold in ways that make it possible for you to move and act with as much boldness as you'd like. There is no right or wrong way to do this, and regardless, I feel sure when I say, "You've got this!" 

Love you so much, Sophia! Happy, happy birthday!

Happy SWEET 16, Sophia!!

 Dear Sophia,

Sixteen years ago, you delighted us all by showing up on your own schedule. You have continued to

choose your own path in every way, and it’s a pleasure to watch.

Being along for the ride is the biggest joy of my life. I am so grateful to know you as well as I do, not only because you’re my kid but because you are a truly wonderful human. Thank you for letting us in!

I am proud of all that you have accomplished this year. You have faced many fears and continue to bravely step beyond your comfort zone. It has been inspiring and a little scary for me to watch you navigate your ever burgeoning life.

You continue to be the kind of loyal friend that any person would be lucky for life to have. Your capacity for love is truly boundless. As your mom, I hate how that opens you up to more pain, but you blow me away by bravely loving in spite of the risk. It’s frickin amazing. We’ll be here for you along the way as it becomes more full of joy and of everything else.

As always, my dearest wish for you is for you to see yourself the way others see you, even just a little bit. We think you are just the coolest thing to happen, and I wish it was easier for you to see the amazing parts of being you, along with the parts that make moments difficult.

I love you, Sophia. More than I imagined possible, and you know I’ve got a great imagination.

Happy, happy birthday, Soph. I hope you feel celebrated and loved in the midst of your scheduling storm.

Love,

Mom

Happy Birthday, Sophia!

 Dear Sophia,

Happy, happy birthday! As you say, Mondays are the worst days, for birthdays and otherwise. I hope you feel celebrated even though it's the start to another week!

The last six weeks of being 14 have brought more change and potential than the whole other 46 weeks put together! It's been exciting and scary, even for me to watch, so I can only imagine how this birthday will feel putting all of this into reality. Fifteen is a big deal, as they all are. I have a lot of hope, as you know, for what this year will bring for you. My hope is that this is one of the years where you can start putting the pieces together of all the things you've learned about yourself and the world. The possibilities come with risk, it's true.

You are facing the changes and challenges head on, and I'm so proud of you. As always, your strength and bravery are in the spotlight. It isn't easy to deal with so much pressure while trying to continue your journey of self discovery, and you are building back what you lost in the past couple of years with honesty and compassion as your foundation. 

While there is plenty of serious stuff happening, there is also laughter and fun at the heart of many of your days. All one has to do is listen and get to know you to understand how truly funny and clever you are. It's fun just to be around when you decide the world should be laughing. You always manage to find a way to make it so.

I feel grateful each day to be in your universe. This day and every day. This year and every year. I become a better person just by being in your orbit and learning what you already know to be true about this place. Your observations are the best observations - whether they are fun or poignant. 

Love you so very much, Sophia. Happy, happy, happy birthday!

Mom

Happy Birthday, Sophia!

Happy, happy birthday, Sophia!!

Today is usually your favorite day of the year, and I am hopeful that this year will be no different in that respect. 

This year has been an exercise in flexibility and disappointment. This is true for all of us, of course, but for a person in their first year of the "teenage" years, it's been especially hard. In last year's letter, I talked about how you were getting a handle on all the ways that you could step away and grow your independent self! That was true and exciting. This pandemic has called for a lot more creativity in terms of separation and freedom. You're at home with your parents way more than you were planning. Fewer opportunities to stretch those wings, but many more opportunities to show maturity.

This year has proven that you can do hard things. Very few things have been as easy as they should have been this year, but you have met it all with courage. I am so proud of the way you've handled every hiccup and disappointment. It's also been proven that you are a true and reliable friend. It's not easy to connect with friends right now, but I've been so impressed at your willingness to put yourself out there and take a risk in order to have real connection. Again, an inspiration, Sophia.

In spite of many changes, some things remain the same. You are so funny. Even in the midst of whatever we're in the midst of right now, you can reliably make us laugh. You are so full of love - for your family, friends and maybe especially for Leo. Your sweetness and your humor truly bring so much joy into our home. One of my favorite things, and this has been true for years, is the way that you continually attempt to discover and create the person you are and who you want to be. That is no small thing, and people decades older than you have yet to master the skill of self-discovery. 

What do I even hope for you for this year? I hope that you continue to find ways to be yourself and believe in yourself. If you had a fraction of the faith in you that I do, you would know that you can face anything that comes your way. Since I don't know what this year holds, that's what I want most for you. 

I can't believe it's been 14 years since I first held you and looked down into that perfect face. Even though I have to look up into your beautiful face now, I still feel the same wonder and joy just knowing that you're ours.

Happy birthday, Sophia. Love you so much!

Mom

Happy ThirTEEN!!

Happy birthday, Sophia! 

I cannot believe that you’re 13 today. I know you’re a bit in shock about the whole thing as well. I just want to say, “You’ve got this!” That’s what you most need to hear today and every day.

Of course you still need Dad and me, but you truly have a handle on this thing. You are

responsible, clever, and kind. You are generous and loyal and brave. Life doesn’t get

much easier than this, but in many ways it doesn’t get a lot harder either. And you’ve

got this. You are navigating responsibilities, relationships, and expectations with an open

heart, and that will pay off.

I am so proud of you every day. Grateful that you continue to be the remarkable girl

that you’ve been since the beginning. I looked back through my other letters to you,

and every bit is still true. When you were five, I said, “You make us smile, and you

challenge us to be more true to ourselves.” You continue to bring out the best in us, and
I still work to be worthy of being your mom. Guiding such a beautiful light 
through this world is a responsibility I take very seriously. Perfection is not an option, though 
I know you’d love to think otherwise.

Happy birthday, honey. I hope that you know how special you are! May the teenage

years be ones of love and grace and power for you.

Love you always,

Mom

An Even Dozen

Happy birthday, Sophia!

Today is a strange day for us because you're waking up at sixth grade camp instead of in your bed at home. I never realized that I took those birthday hugs for granted. Don't worry. I will make up for it when you get off that bus tonight!

Twelve feels like a big deal. They all feel like a big deal when I'm writing your letter. Seriously, though, twelve is a huge transition year. Middle school has already started and rocked our worlds a bit.

You are the same sweet, thoughtful, funny girl you've always been. Now those qualities are being tested from the outside. This year all the things that make you who you are will start crystallizing into the adult version of you.

Most of all, I want you to begin to learn to love and accept yourself. You get so frustrated by who you are sometimes, wondering why you're sensitive or afraid. I hope that this is the year that you start seeing yourself for the brave little warrior that you are. And, yes, I use "little" loosely, since you're an inch taller than I am already. I want, more than anything, for you to see yourself occasionally the way others see you. Persistent, quirky, fun and smart. You do know these things about yourself, but you tend to outweigh the parts of yourself that make the days a little longer for you. I just hope you start paying attention to all the things that make you the most awesome kid I know.

Every day that we get to spend with you is a gift. Your presence and friendship is a blessing to all who know you. I love you, and I am so proud that you're our girl.

Happy birthday, Soph.

Love,
Mom

Happy birthday, Sophia!

Dear Sophia,

Your birthday is one of my very favorite days of the year. Reflecting on the person you are and the family we've created is such a gift.

This year has been one that will be a marker in our lives. The hard parts of life are the growing opportunities, and you have grown deeply. This year has brought disappointment, loss, fear and change. You have allowed these to be opportunities for growth and reaching out instead of isolation. I am amazed by you every day.

We have had much to celebrate this year, too, and those lovely days have been all the more sweet and full because you have felt the true range of feelings. Your sweet, outgoing spirit has been a joy for us and for all your friends. This year has brought new depth to your friendships, as well, and I'm so excited to watch that happening.

You are a remarkable girl. I am so grateful to be able to be one of your guides for this part of your life. Each year, from here on out, will be leaps and bounds as you develop and strengthen your spirit. I can't wait to see what this year holds for you and our family.

Love you deeply,

Mom

Happy Birthday, Sophia! YOU'RE TEN!!!

Dear Sophia,

It's been a decade since we brought you home to our house on Timbers Court. I remember it better than I do lots of things - not the moment walking through the door, but the many moments of staring down at your sweet, new-to-me face. I remember how lucky I felt. And responsible. I wanted so many things for you. I still do, of course. And now you're ten! Most of my desires for you have already come true.

I wanted you to know who you are. You are more aware of the big things that make you who you are than many adults. That's not to say you'll always feel so confident, but I  You relish the fact that you are a natural leader. Instead of using it to get your way, you use it to help your friends find their gifts and use them. I see that on the soccer field more obviously than anywhere else, but I hear about it in the classroom, too.

I hoped that you would be curious and clever. Those two go hand in hand, and you embody them both. School isn't always your favorite, but learning is. You love to dive into something that interests you. Then you write about it, tell us about it, sing about it, or blog about it. You have moved into the phase of your childhood where your questions are usually bigger than our answers, but that doesn't stop us from digging.

I wanted you to be brave and adventurous. Bravery, remember, is not about an absence of fear. It's about facing that fear and not letting it rule you. That's you. You are afraid of some things because of that last wish I had. You're clever and curious enough to know that risks sometimes have unpleasant consequences. However, your bravery and adventurous spirit usually win out and lead you into amazing things like climbing back on a horse or trying crazy foods or running into a crashing wave. I love watching your mind work and picking a winner between spirit and caution. Whichever one wins, it's usually the right call.

Ten is a huge milestone. One that I haven't been entirely ready to mark off, for lots of reasons, I suppose. But as I write this, I am reminded that you are who you are. I am lucky to get to share you with the world that you're determined to make your own.

Happy birthday, Sophia! May this year be your best yet.

Love,
Mommy

Happy Birthday, Sophia!

Dear Sophia,

Happy birthday! You deserve a day of all the brightest and happiest moments that a nine-year-old's day can hold.

You do not want to grow up, and I am not ready for that either. Still, it's the greatest privilege of my life to help you grow and learn and, yes, change. You hate change as much as I love it. That's why I'm always so amazed at your willingness to join me and daddy with excitement when we decide it's time for adventure. It's because you're courageous.

Nine years have gone by in the blink of an eye, yet I cannot remember life before you were in it. My ears have never heard anything as beautiful as the sound of your laugh when something catches you off guard - or when you make a bathroom joke. My eyes have never seen anything as beautiful as your face when it's filled with delight at something new or joy when you're on a horse. My heart has never had more use than when it reminds yours what a worthwhile and beautiful person you are.

Daddy and I love you more today than when he first put you in my arms. For no other reason than you are ours. All the other reasons you give us just stack on top and fill our hearts.

I hope this year is full of your laughter and made bright with your imagination. I can't wait to share the happy days with you and I am honored to wipe your tears when they come.

Happy birthday to my bright and beautiful girl!

Love,

Mommy

Happy 8, Sophia!

Happy birthday, Sophia!

Your birthday is one of my very favorite days of the year. It's true that each and every day we try to let you know how special you are to us. But this day! This day we get to spend more time thinking about all the many reasons that we are grateful you came into our lives, whether we were ready or not, eight years ago.

It seems impossible that this would be the case, but each year with you is better than the last - and I thought my life was complete on the day you were born!

This has been another year of new things. Last fall, you were beginning violin and horseback riding. You've even added in sports! I am so proud of the courage you have. In spite of the scariness that comes with doing new things, as you've posted on the blog, you face it and do it anyway. Because you have confidence in your ability and, I hope, because you know that we'll always be there no matter how it turns out.

In spite of all the activities and the busy schedule of our family this year, we've managed to ensure that the three of us have still had plenty of time just to be together. Reminding one another what it is that makes us work. I hope you always feel respected and heard by us. It's so important to me that you would know that what you think and what you share matters.

My favorite time of day is just before bed when we talk about all the things that have been on your mind. Your sensitive spirit still amazes me. I am always stunned by how much you notice and what kind of things keep your attention. You are a beautiful friend to all those around you. This is made obvious by all the people - kids and adults both - who value time with you and love to listen to you. And as much as you love to tell a story, you still manage to be a great listener!

I hope that your birthday is everything you dreamed. You deserve a day as lovely and fine as you are.

Love forever,
Mommy

Happy Birthday, Sophia!

Happy birthday Sophia!

I love writing this letter every year. I get to think back about all the fun we had this year and think about all the ways you've changed, grown and stayed the same. I get to celebrate the person you're becoming as you get ready to celebrate your birthday. With presents.

Six was as big a year as you've had so far. So much independence and change! Stepping away from the comfort and protection of home and going out into the world in a big way on your own. It's been fun and scary for us to watch, but I am so proud of the way you carry yourself out in this world.

You are one of those people that all people find themselves searching out. You are so full of life. You're generous and kind, with your words and your actions. You speak up for yourself and others, even when it gets uncomfortable. That isn't easy for any of us, and I'm amazed every time I hear that you made that choice.

I've noticed lately that you are more attached to Daddy and me than you have been in a long time. I assume that it's because of all this newly found independence. I hope that you know no matter how much you flex your independence or how far you go on your own, we will always be here. You don't have to check in to keep us here, but we'll enjoy the extra snuggles while you do. 

The challenges that have come with six will continue forever. It's just part of growing up. You always need to know why. You question our (my) judgment. You have a different plan. I understand how that is. And, for the most part, we work through that together. Building trust between us. Developing the conversation that will get us through to 2024 (when you're 18) and beyond. 

I've enjoyed this year that you've been six. Adventure, comedy, drama: all of these have been part of our daily lives with you. I have no doubt that seven will be more of the same. I hope seven is lucky for you! Full to the brim with giggling with your friends, mud in your hands, excitement in your eyes. 

I love you, Sophia. I hope every wish you make comes true.

Love,

Mom

Happy Birthday, Baby!

Dear Sophia,

I will try to remember not to call you baby in public because you've reminded me many times already that you are no longer a baby. Ever so true, darling, but as the saying goes, you'll always be my baby.

I have enjoyed watching you transform, this year especially, from a little kid into a kid who has plans and dreams of her own. As every year does, the year of being five has come with some growing pains. As we get used to you doing things for yourself, and you adjust to the expectations that brings, we have had to work to find our groove together. At times it's been a difficult adjustment, but it has been completely worth it. I can't wait to see what you get up to next.

Although many things have changed, your personality is still just the same. Loyal, glamorous, brave, affectionate, kind, thoughtful. Hilarious, of course. You do come by that naturally. We have had some incredible laughs together this year. My favorite part of humor that you've really taken off with is your word play. It's been fun to watch you use words to make your own original puns.

I am so grateful for the countless moments bursting with joy that we have had together this year. I cannot believe how lucky we are to get to come alongside you as you become more fully yourself. And I'm grateful to you, Sophia, for still allowing us to share in all the facets of your mind and personality. I can only hope that we can continue to earn your trust and that you will continue to give it as you get into your school years. I know that won't always be easy, but I will try to be a safe place for you to rest.

For now, I'll just wish you a very happy birthday, Sophia. I hope that you can feel today just a fraction of how much you are adored by all who know you. We can't help it. It's just that you bring out the love in us. Thanks for that today and always.

Your devoted

Mama

High Five!

 

Dear Sophia,

When you wake up this morning, you'll be five! It is very hard for me to believe when I stop to think about it, but you are definitely every bit of five.

Last night, as I gathered you into my lap and you still spilled out of it, I couldn't help but think back on a night that doesn't seem that long ago. You were still in my tummy, and I was reading a story to Aaron and William in their room. Aaron wished that you could scoot over a little so there was room on my lap for all three of you.

As I had you there in my lap last night, I said everything that I'd want to say in a letter to you. I'll tell you again here so that years from now, you'll remember each word.

Your daddy and I thank God every day for the day that you were born. You have brightened and filled our lives for the last five years in ways that we couldn't have imagined. You make us smile, and you challenge us to be more true to ourselves. You look at life with such clear eyes and an open heart. You inspire me every day.

Every day when I go to school to pick you up, I smile to myself with pride and excitement that it's you that I'll bring home. Thank you, Sophia, for being you.

Happy birthday to you, Sweet Girl!


Love always,

Your mama

Happy Three Sophia!!

Dear Sophia,

Happy birthday, Sophia! I cannot believe that it was three whole years ago that I first laid eyes on you. It seems like I've known you forever.

This birthday has been made extra special by the birth of your baby cousin Henri! Having that tiny beautiful baby come so close to your birthday has brought back so many meaningful memories for me. I will never forget the first time I held you in my arms, and amazingly, you feel just as good to me now when I can get you to hold still. There are times I walk into your room while you're sleeping, and I still catch my breath at the sight of your peace-filled and innocent face.

I really love getting to know you. You are an original. As frustrating as it will be to others (probably a future partner), I love the way you scoff at the rules that govern play and life. You don't need a reason to be. You just are. You just do. You are completely free to love and be loved.

From all the books and from the advice of those who have gone before, I am ready for this year to be a challenging one for you and for me. But I plan to make the most of it. I fully expect to learn as much about myself as you learn about the world during this year. So far being your mother has been the most educational experience of my life. Thank you for being patient with me. I'll do my best to return the favor.

I love you, Sophia. I hope your birthday is as beautiful as the little girl we're celebrating!

Happy Two, You!

My Dear Big Girl,

You are one of my very favorite people. I even think your own company rivals my own!

Your sense of humor (and knowledge of when to use it) astounds me. Your perceptions of people are impressive. Of course you get these traits from me, along with being a bad morning person. Your dad offers drama and intelligence in spades (that means in excess.) That, my dear, makes you a very dangerous 2-year-old.

I love to watch you with others. You are starting to be more aware of yourself and that makes you the tiniest bit more shy. However, given the slightest encouragement, that shell comes peeling off, revealing a heart just bursting with love. I love what you do for our little family. I also love to see you thrive under our care. I am so proud of your successes and failures. Even as a toddler, you're becoming aware of your mistakes. I'm so grateful that you seem willing to accept yourself in spite of these and willing to make things right with others that you hurt. We'll both make mistakes during these next 16 years, but I'm so happy to be entrusted with your care.

Have a happy day, Sophia, learning to be independent. Needing to be dependent. Brightening our lives and broadening our worlds. We'll try to help you along the way, and we'll be willing to accept your help when it comes too.

Love,
Mommy

Happy First Birthday, Sophia!

Dear Sophia,

A year ago today I shed tears on your blanket. So happy to meet you and so in love.

Today I am stunned at how my love has already grown. Sweet, but sassy; can you already challenge me with your wit? Afraid so.

Your beautiful eyes and charming smile draw others to you. They don't know why, but I do. You love. My heart swells to know that you feel and understand love already in your first year. And already you freely share your heart with others.

As you toddle around while holding your daddy's fingers, I can only try to imagine how much more I will love you as I get to know you better. One year has only been a whisper of the love I'm confident you will inspire.

Happy birthday to the sweetest little girl I know.

Love,
Mommy