Work

Going back to work has been a big adjustment for all of us. The changes for Erick and Sophia have been more subtle because I'm still at school drop off and pick up every day. However, I'm not able to do all the housework and errands that I normally do throughout the week.

The biggest changes have been felt my Leo and me. Poor little Leo has to stay in his crate from 8:30 to 3:00 every day. Two reasons. The first is that Gabriella hates him, and we worry that either the cat or the dog would wind up hurt at the end of some long day. Second is that even if I close Gabriella in her own room, Leo is anxious the entire I'm gone if he's not in his crate. He stays on the same patch of couch watching the door, but I know in his crate at least he calms down.

It's been a bigger adjustment than I thought it would be for myself. I'm just working during the hours that Sophia's in school, but the shift it has made in my mentality is pretty significant. In some ways, I'm more efficient during the time I have at home, and in other ways, I seem to be a bit adrift. I haven't found the patterns that will make this all work together. The really good thing is that I'll probably get to adjust back down at least somewhat. A person is being hired to take on quite a bit of the job I'm doing at the moment, so that will be a relief. I just have to push through till then.

Regardless, it's the holiday season, and I'm focusing on hope.

Lost and Found

Ever since we planned the move, we have had our eye on the calendar to find a time that would be better than most to add to our family. Sophia has a four-day weekend starting tomorrow, so we've planned this for a few weeks. We were making some progress toward getting a particular dog from a shelter in Fenton. He was about 8 months and a retriever mix. Kind of small for the breed. Pretty bouncy and energetic, but we were excited to do the work to have him fit in with our family.

The process was taking a long time. This happens. We also learned that it might be a little longer, and there were other families interested in him. Just to be sure we were making the right call, Sophia and I went back to the Humane Society last night to visit some dogs.

One particular little guy got our attention. On one side of the glass was Evan, a wire-haired fox terrier, on the other side was Sophia, an 8-year-old dog lover. It may or may not have been love at first sight. Once we met in the "Get to know each other" room, they became inseparable.

He was a stray up until two weeks ago. They don't know anything about him, but we are taking the risk. I'm going to admit it: he's a kisser. And a hugger. and a jump upper.

Apparently, he's also a stitch puller. So he has to wear this around for a few days while we're not around. He hates it.

But, sometimes he gets to take it off so he can do this.

Sophia is so in love with this dog. I believe the feeling is mutual. Erick and I are pretty impressed with him, too. One family member might need a little more time to adjust. This was Gabriella's look when she saw that he had made himself comfortable on the couch.

Sophia named him Leo, and he's settling in nicely. I'm sure our whole family will need to make some adjustments to life with a dog, but I think he's going to be worth it!

New Digs

It's all rather similar in our new place. Familiar but different. I'm loving my work space here, and the kitchen is simply wonderful.

We're all settling in nicely. Even Gabriella doesn't seem to have much to complain about.

It's the perfect time of year in this neighborhood. The trees are changing and the temperatures are just right for open windows. I'm grateful for our new home, which could possibly even be our old person's home one day. We haven't had that possibility for a while, and it makes me happy!

Turning the Page

Today was Sophia's last day of preschool. She's been sad about it, but she is definitely in the bargaining stage of grief. She's trying to orchestrate some superschool with her old friends, plus a new friend she made the other night (more on that later), plus her old teachers with her new classroom. It's all very intricate. That is when she isn't just saying, "Nope. I'm not leaving Samuel Preschool. Ever. I will ask my friends to stay too." Samuel Preschool has been an incredible experience. I know I've mentioned it before. It helped with our transition to St. Louis, and it has helped Sophia transition to every day school. She has made friends, and so have I. She has made academic and social progress. I am just amazed every day at what she comes home with in words, art and stories. I am thrilled to start this next chapter in our family life. I am excited for Sophia to become a school girl. Sophia's preschool does not have graduation, per se. Instead, the big kid class performs the Three Piggy Opera for their parents and the little kids. Sophia has been talking about this ever since she saw it last year. That was her entire reason for wanting to go back to school. Sophia played the Mama Pig and sent her little piggies off with grace and selflessness. However, she did instruct them to write and visit every Sunday night.

Honestly, I am going to miss every one of these little piggies. It's been an honor to get to know then and their parents. I've learned a lot this year.

Hola

It's been an uncharacteristically long time since my last post. I keep starting posts about the fact that it's been almost a year since we've been in St. Louis. Each post has been different and each one is unfinished.

Maybe if I keep it short, rather than comprehensive, I can get one published. In just four days, it will be an entire year since we moved into this apartment. That feels weird on many levels. A year is a long time, but it's still only an eighth of the time we lived and invested in Columbia.

We miss our friends. All three of us miss them. We miss our house, mostly because, as Sophia says, "It was so close to the boysies." I think I may have mentioned this before, but there are definitely days that I wish I were in Columbia, but, so far, I haven't wished that I lived there again. That's not to say I won't have that feeling in the future, but I'm happy to hold onto my contentment for now.

We love our friends in St. Louis. I'm grateful every day for the relative ease of this transition for all of us. Erick loves his job. I love the possibilities in St. Louis. I love the food and the walks.

Sophia loves her school, the parks, her friends. Everything that matters to her about St. Louis is a win.

A year later. Sophia, Erick and I have all grown and changed individually. Our relationships to each other have changed, too, as outside dynamics shift. A year later, and I can still say with absolute certainty that my favorite thing in life is the three of us - together.

Gabriella

 

We have a new addition to the Creach household. She's slightly crazy, very independent, snuggly and absolutely adorable. A kindred spirit for Sophia.

She doesn't like to cuddle quite as much as Sophia would like, but after she is worn out from playing, she becomes a regular lap kitty.

 

 

She is very entertaining, and all of us are quite taken with her. I absolutely love this cat. Can't wait to share some Sophia-Gabriella tales.

 

Zootastic

 

My nephew Henri had his first visit (that he could really participate) to the zoo yesterday. It was absolutely fantastic. Really enjoyable to spend time with him, his brothers and, of course, his parents. I hope I'm learning to live in the moments we have together. Blissful as they sometimes are.

Still, I can't deny the bittersweet reality that he's pointing at me...

Last Day of School

Yep. It's today. Sophia's done with her complete first year of preschool. The first half at Little One's Day Out. The second half at Samuel Pre-K. Both fantastic experiences. Sophia absolutely loves school. Of course, I know she'll forget how much she loves it by the time it comes around again. But I can rest in the knowledge that this part of our transition has gone absolutely swimmingly. She made friends. The teachers loved getting to know her. She danced and shouted her joy after almost each day of school. Can't get much better than that.

On to the summer. I've got my work cut out for me to keep her entertained and active. Without a reason to get out, Sophia would be happy just lying around, watching TV, having me read or play with her here at home. She says she doesn't like the summer because it's too hot and the sun gets in her eyes. Fortunately, after this weekend, she's all about going to a pool. I think we will get a summer membership at the Clayton pool. The cost, which is not as much as I thought it would be, will still be enough to encourage us to get our selves out there on a regular basis.

It's going to be a weird summer, without a doubt. This is the time of year that I normally spend the majority of the week with my friends and neighbors. I am excited to get to explore all that St. Louis has to offer this summer, but I will miss the ease and understanding of hanging out with all my Columbia people. Really, really miss it.

Going Back Ain't Easy

Sophia and I have made regular trips back to Columbia since our move five months ago. Erick has come with us on the weekends that he can. Each trip is a little different, as far as who we visit and what we do. Every trip is the same, though, in that nothing is the same. It's a statement of the obvious, I know.

There is no way to explain to someone who hasn't been there what it feels like to reenter a picture that you're no longer a part of. This is particularly true of our weekday visits. To hop back into an everyday reality that we're no experiencing ourselves is confusing - for me, for Sophia, and I can only assume for those we visit. It's a tension that I am completely willing to live with because I care so much about maintaining real and lasting friendships. I am willing to feel uncomfortable and a little out of place in order to find a new place in the picture.

It's funny that I use the picture as a metaphor. Because I never take my camera on these visits. Or if I do, I leave it in the van. I had written this off as accidental until my drive home this last time. A big part of me still fights the need to take pictures because that's something "guests" do when they come for a visit, and I so don't want to be a guests with my family and my friends. But I am. Maybe a guest with some history, but a guest all the same.

It's Happening Again

If you've been reading my blog through a few season changes, you're probably sick of hearing about what it does to me. Fortunately, I rarely let that stop me from talking.

So here we are, in the middle of a heat wave - relatively speaking. The snow is melting away, leaving puddles and mud everywhere. I bought some rain boots, so now I can fully relish the puddles. I've always wanted rain boots for just such a purpose, and they do not disappoint.

Even while I'm inside, my spirit is outside. My computer is in the sunroom, and this is a problem. Right now, I'm typing while staring out the open window. I have learned to proofread as a result of this situation. Also, I get distracted by the cool breeze, and before I know it, I'm reclined in the office chair and haven't written or entertained a coherent thought in five minutes.

There is no cure for what ails me. I must push through to the other side. When I no longer want to just lie around in the sunshine, talking to strangers and friends, drinking coffee and waxing philosophical about the simplest things. That is the greatest symptom of my disease. Nothing is simple. Everything is a broad, general, debatable idea that I want to talk about and hold up to the light of the sun until I get bored with it. Not until I find an answer, mind you, because what, after all, is an answer? Poor Erick. Things take much longer than they should at this time of the year. The only hope is that this is the last time this happens until the fall. Because once I push through, I am myself again - still doing all the things I just mentioned, but in a less ethereal state.

However, a problem occurs when I get forced back inside by another cold snap, and the process must begin all over when the sun returns to warm the ground. It's a vicious cycle really.

Wish Erick luck.

1.1.11

That's a lot of ones. After the last four months, I know better than to place too many expectations on the next twelve.

Here's what I want for 2011. I want to sort it out. Where do I fit here in St. Louis? How do I fit into the lives in Columbia? And vice versa. How do I capitalize on this built-in solitude? I find that it's invigorating many days, but how do I keep from insulating myself? It seems like a difficult balance.

Balance. It's a good goal for this year. That's what I'm looking for. Also, I think it will be easier for me to balance if I drop a few pounds. Wish me luck.

Come and Gone

It's hard to believe that I am sitting here looking at an apartment without anything Christmasy. We only had a week or two here before we set it all up, so it looks a little bare without the festive decoration.

We had a truly memorable Christmas. Our time at my grandma's house was fun and the traveling was easy. Christmas itself was a whirlwind of celebration from our house to Grandmary's to David and Casey's with the rest of our family. An after-Christmas treat came our way with the visit of our former neighbors, Aaron and Jenny, who are currently in Santa Monica.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that Christmas was fun. Sophia did great considering nearly a week of gifts and sugar and low expectations from us. We are finally getting her back to an understanding of what "normal" life is again.

This was the first time that I had returned to St. Louis and looked forward to getting back to our little apartment. Back to the radiators and the small kitchen. There's just something about being away from home that really does help the heart grow fonder.

Now we are ready to plow ahead. Sophia starts school next week. Erick and I start a couple of new commitments: eating better and exercising. Now that the holidays are past, we'll start looking around for a church, and we'll start making time to reach out to people we know and people we meet here in St. Louis. It will be a different start than we have known before, but there is a thrill in the freshness of it.

I hope that everyone has had a peaceful and relaxing holiday season so far. Maybe I'll have some more to say about the new year. If not, good luck to all of us on not biting off more than we can chew in the new year!

Christmas

We have a busy few days ahead - traveling to Columbia to celebrate Christmas with our families. I'm looking forward to it immensely.

Even with moving and things being different, I have enjoyed this holiday season even more than I normally do. It's a little ironic, I think. Normally, the schedule is packed so tightly with Christmas parties and people that we never quite manage to rest and soak in the wonder of the season. This season our schedule is just a smidge more open. I have felt an enormous amount of freedom to just be in the spirit! Sophia and I talk constantly about Christmas - what we're giving people, what we're making and why we Christians think it's a pretty big deal.

I am not a bastion of focus, so I always suspected that I may get distracted from the holiday by the celebration. That is now confirmed. I can't say that I prefer this. As a matter of fact, I miss being too busy to see straight. I'm just saying. I've learned my lesson. Next year, let's get back to the parties!

The "Real" World

We have been in our apartment for nearly three weeks! It seems impossible that it's been that long, but it's true. When Sophia talks about all the changes, she still refers to Columbia as "our real world" and the house we sold as "our real house." She is getting more used to the apartment and her room, but the rest of our existence is a bit surreal.

In that three weeks, Sophia and I have driven back to Columbia twice. One time just a quick trip to clean the house. Two days ago, we were there for 24 hours, visiting church, seeing friends and hanging out with the family in our old neighborhood. It's great to stay connected to our friends in Columbia, working toward acknowledging a new state of normal together. It is always hard to leave after a visit, but the quiet trip home provides a great opportunity to reflect on our rich past and look forward to a future, hopefully still rich with friends old and new.

I think this week will be the week I start thinking more about the new world than the old world. We'll see how that goes. I finally tackled a big stack of pictures and decorations that I had been stalling on. It will be fun to get the rest of our personal touches up and around us.

Sophia and I may work to find a library this week. The other thing that will help us feel at home is to cook at home more. We've been eating out more than normal, so it's easy to forget that we're not on an extended vacation.

I look forward to the task ahead. Making a life for ourselves and learning how to incorporate comfortable alongside the not-yet-broken-in, the proven with the risky. It will be an interesting journey. I'm glad that I'll have all of you to share it with!

The Tour

When we first realized that a St. Louis move was inevitable, we began to think about where we wanted to live. At first, we thought we would embrace the completely urban lifestyle of a downtown apartment. We looked online at lofts downtown on Broadway and around Washington Avenue. Those were great places, but once we visited the one on Broadway, we realized that it wouldn't suit the needs of our family. We wanted more of a neighborhood feel. More walking options and hopefully a kid-friendly environment.

We ended up driving through and falling in love with the Clayton/DeMun neighborhood. It's just off Skinker, West of Forest Park. We began making phone calls and looking online specifically at apartments in this area. It seemed like in order to get into the area, we'd have to settle for a two bedroom apartment. I was willing to do it if it would be a better place for all of us (especially Sophia). Then we stumbled upon an apartment in our price range with three bedrooms, hardwood floors, and nearly as much space as our house!

Our neighborhood is everything we hoped. Just a block or two from restaurants, a coffee shop and several great parks! Sophia loves it, as you could see from a previous post.



We're on the second floor, with three grad students above us and three student below us. Sophia is dying for some kids, so I'm hopeful that a park visit will one day turn up some friends for her.



It was quite a process to go from empty...



to full...



to livable...



I have been so amazed and pleased at how well our things seem to fit and help us feel at home in our new place.



We have more wall space in the apartment than we did in our house, so I get to exercise my decorating muscles a little bit. Good times are ahead. I'll let you know how that goes.



There have been some things to get used to in our apartment. The building went up in the late 1920's, so, along with the character and cool factor, we are discovering some quirks. We've never had radiated heat before. I like it, but it's a change.



If I could change one thing about the apartment, it would probably be the kitchen. It's not as much a nemesis as I originally thought, but it's an adjustment for sure. Few cabinets, the washer/dryer stacked in the corner, the original gas oven (well, I don't know that for a fact, but it sounds about right) all add up to a challenge. One that I'm willing to attack on account of the awesomeness of the rest of our place.



This is our place. I am feeling at home inside these walls. You're welcome to come see it for yourself at any time!

Sophia in St. Louis

The easiest place to get started on the process of sharing our new life is to talk about how Sophia is making the move.

Last week, the big one, Sophia could not have been more perfect. She was low maintenance, easy-going, kind and quiet. All around a different kid. Fortunately, I have determined after just a day into this new week, I can tell you that was just a phase - a very kind, and well-timed phase. She's back with all the drama and opinion and words. More than ever, actually, as she tries to figure out what it means to be here, in St. Louis, for good.

It helps that Sophia loves her room. It's inviting and big. It serves as both her bedroom and her playroom. She was a little disappointed that her toys don't have their own kingdom in the apartment, but she's adjusted well.



The other big factor in easing Sophia's transition is the combination of great weather, a great park nearby and a new bike. On Timbers Court, Sophia could never control a bike - or any wheeled vehicle for that matter - but on Rosebury, she tools along like a pro.



This weekend, Sophia was thrilled to have my mom and dad visit. I was so happy for her to have people to give her undivided attention and listen to her chatter, as my attention has been minimal through the week. We did some fun stuff with Mom and Dad, including the Champagne Holiday Stroll in one of Clayton's business districts. Sophia found a turtle to keep her company.



Of course, it would be unreasonable of us to expect her (or any of us) to make this transition without a blow-up or two. We're working on helping her navigate the feelings and frustrations that come with the change.



Through all of this, every one of our conversations about the move ends with us having an exchange about how we are grateful to have each other. I really am. This girl makes my life interesting, that's for sure.

Surfacing for Air

It has been a whirlwind of events as we have made the transition from Columbia to St. Louis. Our address is Clayton, so we'll see if that's what I end up calling it. Anyway, I plan to post some pictures and regale you with some stories in the near future. We'll see how that works out.

Sorry for the empty space!

With Good Reason

I have been incommunicado lately, and there is a very good reason. I've had one thing primarily on my brain, but I have not had the time or energy or freedom or something to get my thoughts down about it.

Erick interviewed for, was offered and accepted a position with a law firm in St. Louis. There, I said it. Since I chose him and we chose this path together, I'll be joining him. Sophia is too young to stay in Columbia by herself, so she's coming with us, too. Hopefully we'll all be there together before 2010 is out.

As you can imagine, and as many of you have experienced, this is a consuming and emotional process, to say the least. I will do my best to come up with more words at some point in the near future. For now, I thought it would be helpful just to break the news to those who didn't already know and break the ice with those who did.

I found myself this morning finally changing the "We are probably..." to "We are moving to St. Louis." That was a big barrier that has now been knocked down.