One of the things that is more challenging to talk about in the discussion of grief is the way in which our lives change for the better in some way, shape or form. Sometimes this isn't true, but other times it is true. It's painful, but then again I don't want to miss the good things in life just because they were brought about by sadness.
Anyway, a few weeks ago when I started to realize how things are different than we planned, I couldn't help but detest the new conveniences of our lives that wouldn't be true if things had gone differently.
So here are a few things that I hated (and am working on being grateful for).
-In July, we're going to Orlando for vacation in a year that was supposed to be travel-free to save up for the coming baby.
-I don't feel the need to rush Sophia into potty training.
-Or getting into a big girl bed.
-We'll be much more financially prepared to have a second when the time comes.
-I can enjoy adult beverages and hot tubs this summer.
-I won't be swollen (literally) to twice my normal size by September.
-I can exercise all I want and get a better swimsuit body (I'm not really taking advantage of this one, though)
There are more, but you get the point. These are all things that I am grateful for, but the alternative would have been exponentially more to my liking.
Good things, all, but not what you wanted or planned for this summer, ugh, again. I understand the desire to be grateful, as that's a more pleasent place to live, but I guess you're saying that the feelings of gratefulness bring along the pangs of sadness and loss. I'm "glad" you are free to live with both, and don't feel you have to choose between gratefulness and sadness, their coexistence is our reality.
ReplyDeleteWell said! Thank you.
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