Wednesday, February 23, 2011
...feel melancholy. Like I said, when the weather pushes me back inside, that's when things really get tricky.
Perhaps it's strange, but the days that I feel most connected with my humanity are days when I am feeling melancholy. For me, that entails quietness. This is disconcerting for the people around me. I'm not normally quiet. However, on melancholy days, I am quiet for two reasons: first, I am a big believer in "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm thinking mean or nasty things...
Second, on melancholy days, I have a harder time putting together coherent thoughts to begin with. It's like my thoughts are reclining on a memory foam mattress and can't be convinced to get up and grab a cup of coffee to join the conversation.
To be honest, I love these days. It's like a rest for my soul. And my face. I smile a lot in general. And I mean it when I smile. On these days, I don't smile as much (still more than many). I am, however, more conscious of my eyes. Does that sound creepy? I just mean that I am more aware that my eyes are looking out of my body and you are looking into my depths through them. Okay, that does sound creepy, but I'm sticking by it because it's true.
So today, I'll have my iPod stocked with great folksy tunes with meaningful lyrics. Because the thoughts that won't present themselves to me will often respond to the emotion of others. Other than that, I'll just enjoy hanging out. Maybe get some work done around the house while my mind is quiet and less distracted.