The week I chose to start potty training just happens to fall when I would have been expecting our second baby, had I not miscarried in April. Coincidence? An effort to distract myself? Who knows. The result has been a heightened level of emotion and tiredness that leaves me feeling uncomfortable, to say the least. I'm used to feeling emotion, but typically I feel it, process and move on. This week, however, has just been one big emotional grab bag. It feels like everything is just close to the surface. That lump in the throat that won't seem to fully show itself or just leave me alone.
So, as I write this, red-eyed and splotchy-faced, I couldn't even pinpoint the culprit if I tried. My life is brilliant right now. I'm not sure that I could be more content, but I am sure that my arms could be full.
My heart has been heavy for you this week, despite the busyness that is going on in my life. You have been on my heart more times than I can count. I so wish we could see that precious baby. I look forward to the day we will. Maybe my daddy is helping hold babies in heaven; well maybe not, he never was that good with babies! At least we know God is taking care of them. Looking forward to the day our children gone too early introduce us to Our Lord. Until then, I ache for the empty arms you feel right now. Loving you much!
ReplyDeleteAww, LJ. I'll pray for you as you go through this difficult time. I know it can not be easy to feel the ache for your child. My heart hurts for you. With love.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Laurie. I'll be thinking about you this week as you let yourself feel loss while embracing the changes in little miss sophia. I missed seeing you last night friend!
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